This blog is about me and how i express myself. Its mostly about weight lost, with sprinkled in rants about life. Thank you in advance for following me..please ask question..and if you can keep me motivated and i will try to do the same. Dont forget to read the about me section for a little about me :)
HW: 273
SW: 273
CW 258.2
GW1 240
GW2 220
GW3 200
UGW1 180
UGW2 150
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Mels on the move
For the past couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of re-evaluation of my life, values, goals, relationships, friendships, men sex and etc. I continue to have these epiphanies, those aha moments. So my current aha moment was why i feel so alone…
I am actually alone for the first time in my life. I looked back at my life and realized I always had someone. either a male friend or my best friends. I mean I currently live with my mom and I do have my daughter to keep me company.. but there is nothing like the company of your friends to make u laugh and the intimacy a man can give you…
I really missed that.. I originally wrote this post on a piece a paper that resulted in about 4 pages. I am not going to type that much and decided to keep this post short .
I decided that I need to be ok with being alone. I need to stop searching for validation or approval from others. I need to learn to make myself happy. I really think God is giving me this time alone to learn about me and what makes me tick. You never know how much you lose of yourself when you are in a relationship with someone for so long. When I got out I was not myself I was broken and lost. So I guess I should spend this time working on me and getting my goals accomplished.
I dont want to leave this rebuilding process of myself being so independent that I have that I dont need a man attitude and that no one helped me in this process.. its all about balance..
operation rebuild mel is underway .
I know of a couple that I follow/follows me back, but I’m wondering how many of you there are? Like this post if you live in San Francisco and maybe we can organize a fun run through Golden Gate Park or something in the future!
Well im in the bay area (Oaklandish area) :) bay area weight loss bloggers unite!
69 allnyte
whos up for it
Oh how i miss sex.. After watching this vid.. I’m slightly insecure about my sex skills sheesh!!!.. I would say I need to step my sex game up but unfortunately I have no one to hump :(
(Source: txtitan, via hippogrifficalbitch)
I almost achieved this high the other day while running… I was so close! I got a taste of what it would feel like and I must say I see why drug addicts get high lmao.. the feeling of euphoria is so unexplainable!!!!
Will be running more thats for sure.. I really want to reach the full high!!! my goal is to run for 15 minutes straight.
No Flour Pancake
This is by far the easiest thing i have ever ever made. It was really yummy and with a good protein in it a good fat and some yummy carbs it’s pretty much the perfect way to start the day! (or even a yummy snack too!)
These yummy pancakes only had 3 ingredients.. that’s right 3!
Banana, Peanutbutter (or nut butter of your choice) and an egg
Directions:
Mash the banana
add and mix the egg well
add in a spoonful of your nut butter
i found it easier to flip them when i made a few small pancakes instead of one big one. Cook a few minutes on each side. and enjoy!
File this under #ShitINeedToTry
OMG trying this in a minute, i HAVE to
(via onedaybeautiful)
http://noire3000studios.wordpress.com/2012/05/21/naked-black-justice/
“Hate is like you drinking poison and expecting me to die.”
“Yes, I know who my father is.”
“I am not a thug.”
“Prejudice is injustice.”
“I am a college grad.”
“Black love does exist.”
“I am not a nigger.”
“I will not let hate get me on my bad side.”
“I am not suspicious.”
“Racism is mental illness.”
“Let your haters be your motivators.”
“I am not a drop-out.”
“Disrespected but never destroyed.”
“My child is not a target.”
“I am not a lazy person.”
“<3 is stronger.”
“I say it loud: I am black and proud.”
“I am beautiful” “I am an American too.”
“America was built on our backs.”
“I am the future.”
OMG I just fell in love with this ad!<3
(via backtobasics25)
Sooo as usually I do 30 min on the elliptical doing my cross country program cuz I damn near wanna pass out when I’m done! So today for the first time in a while I did the program and wasn’t panting at the end! I had so much energy at the end that I went to the treadmill and ran for 5:32 minutes straight!!!!! I was so proud of myself!!!! Then a did some exercises that my personal trainer showed me.. I was so bad ass today at the gym! Gonna do it again tomorrow!!!
Then I came home and had some fish and salad…
#FBF
So here I am up a 3 am! Crying! Why? Because I finally realize what I am lacking in my life! It’s fucking security! How did I come to this conclusion u may ask? Well as I was sitting here trying to go to sleep I had a pre-dream.. I’m talking to the other guy and I’m taking our relationship super slow. (true story) and. In this dream me and new dude was at the park with our kids(he has a daughter also) and I guess he asked why our relationship was going so slow and and in my mind all I could think about was this other guy that I talked to for only a week.. Now I realize why I like him soooooo much.. It’s because he gave me a since of security.. He was a manly man.. Ol school values manly man.. He wanted to be the bread winner, he wanted to take care of his girl.. And dammit for once I wanted to be taken care of! He wasn’t passive but he wasn’t aggressive he was a good mix.. Like he took charge and ugh I want that! And this new guy even though it’s only been like 3 days he doesn’t seem like the manly man type I fell in love with a couple of weeks ago… I don’t know if I’m mistaking his gentlemen like move for passiveness but idk.. Now I’m convinced that baby Jesus are people these different type of men in my life and making them disappear so I can pin point my Mr. Right?
So far here are the characteristics of a man I would fall in love with
Aggressive yet playful
Has that southern hospitality
Ol school values with a new school twist
A man that gives his woman security.. Makes her feel secure!
Romantic
Athletic
Sexually aggressive
Loving but not mushy
Outgoing but can appreciate the lazy days at home
Funny
Able to hold a conversation about almost anything
Thoughtful when the time calls for it
Ability to express his feelings!
Knows how to communicate
Notice I haven’t put anything physical up there.. In my early 20’s my list would have started out like must be tall, with waves, and wears Jordan’s lmao.. I’m almost 30… Physical looks are the least of my concerns when choosing a mate.. Although I do prefer someone taller than I…it’s not a deal breaker.. This list is subject to change lol
Second part of epiphany job security! I don’t quite have that yet but once I achieve it I’m sure I will be more focused! Working with grants funds are wack! Just sayin
Dave Chappelle, Dead Prez, Kanye, Common & Talib Kweli
yesssss!!!
this pic belongs on my blog
(Source: faded-off-life, via backtobasics25)
